Monday, March 10, 2014

Lengthening #2

I never did finish updating like I had planned, but we're coming up on lengthening #2 and I hope to do a much better job this time. Not everyone knew this, but during our stay for the previous lengthening I ended up having a miscarriage. Between that and trying to do all that was needed for Trinity I think I was barely functioning. Then after I came home I was finally able to grieve and mourn our loss.

We leave for her second surgery on March 23rd and she has surgery on the 25th. I've already started trying to get things ready and during the process I found the bag that I had placed all over her spare hardware and tools in. There's a strut, a wrench, the turning rod, and two knee bars. For whatever reason I couldn't get rid of these. I think I'm going to hang on to them for her to have if she wants.

I'll be so glad when we finally do get up there. We were originally supposed to go up there in mid January, but we never made it because she ended up getting sick. We rescheduled for the middle of February and never made it then either because of another illness. We're 13 days away from leaving for her third surgery date and we're doing our best to keep her well. We had to miss two very important birthdays and she has some last minute appointments at the crack of dawn to try to beat people into the doctor offices.

I can't even begin to describe the stress that we endure in the time leading up to surgery. Both Dad and I agree that it doesn't get easier until we're settled in Maryland and he's back home. The thought of separating and the process of separation is hard. The other day we were in the car and I began to feel a familiar tightening in my chest and it became difficult to breathe when I thought about leaving for Maryland and surgery. I mentioned it to Dad and how crazy it was that I could actually feel it in my chest and he responded with, "No, it's not crazy. It's anxiety, and I feel it too."

I'm not sure how I didn't realize that what I was feeling was anxiety??

Trinity seems ready to get on with this next surgery. She's excited to be going back to Baltimore and the Ronald McDonald House. We're hoping we'll get to see some of the friends we made up there during her first lengthening stay. We'll also be up there during the spring and summer so we're hoping to get out an do a little exploring while we're there.

13 days and counting...

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